[00:00:00] Hello, and thanks for joining Your Body Advocate podcast. I'm Ruth Cummings, your host, and today I have my second interview with Sherry Luki. She's a energy freedom technique tapper. So tapping is a way of relaxing the body, and I find it fascinating. It goes hand in hand with what I do to get emotions out of the body and to teach people where they are.
Sherry is an amazing practitioner. She's been working with me and my family, and I really like her style. There's different styles of tapping, just like there's different styles of massage or different styles of any type of healing modality, and if you haven't tried it, I would definitely recommend not only listening to this podcast and seeing what you think about it, but if you've tried tapping before, Each tapper has a different style, and I like Sherry's style.
So she talks about that in this, in this podcast today. So I hope you enjoy this. And here we go. Let's take a deep breath to relax. [00:01:00] Ready?
All right guys, here we go. You're listening to your body advocate, telling your body side of the story, the podcast dedicated to supporting and improving your body mind connection so you can live a pain free, passion filled life, dissolving one body tension at a time, discover the healing properties of your own body language, and together let's explore ways to support and improve essential self.
Now here's your host, Master of Encouragement and Body Mind, Life Coach Ruth Cummings. Hello everybody. How is everybody out there? Today we have Sherry Lukey. Again, thank God I love our conversations. She is an EFT tapper and she's going to introduce herself today and, and tell us what she does for a living again.
So Sherry, please take the floor and welcome and it's so good to see you and hugs [00:02:00] over the internet in high five. Yeah. Thank you so much for having me, Ruth, and hugs and high fives to you and everyone out there in the listening world. I just, I'm always so thrilled and feel so appreciative of having the opportunity to share this, what I feel like is just transformative information, transform my life and thousands of others.
But yeah, so I'm Sheri Luki and I'm an EFT tapping expert for heart centered leaders and entrepreneurs. And EFT stands for Emotional Freedom Technique, but it's more commonly known as tapping. And so, but we'll, we can get more into that as, as we talk, but, I absolutely love helping people get out of their own way.
And it's like, and the people that I love the most are the growth mindset, which is almost always entrepreneurs and leaders because they want to be better humans for the world, right? And the people that they are influencing and and they also know that they're in their own way. And that's the most fun for me because it's like, cuz I help them to get outta their way faster than they ever believed possible.
I'm gonna dive right into that question. [00:03:00] How do we, me and many of people like you and. How do we get in our own way? ? Yeah, absolutely. And you know, and for me it was like this was a, 48 year journey of discovering, what was actually my way. Cuz there's a along the way I, I discovered, Yep. I'm, I'm the problem and, and, and try to a, myriad doesn't even cover the number of things that I tried.
Miriad, love it. everything under the sun alternative and mainstream. To try to sort my, my crap out cuz it was, it was really messed up. And what I discovered was is, and I, I know we're on podcast here, but I'm gonna describe it anyways because right behind me I have a tiny little green marble that's the size of the end of your thumb.
And then I have right beside it, a giant green exercise ball that you can barely get your arms. And what I love about those two, those two balls is, is that they completely represent our [00:04:00] conscious and subconscious mind. So the little tiny green marble is your conscious mind. The giant green ball is your subconscious mind.
And why we're in our own way is because of how powerful that subconscious mind is, is that everything that got downloaded into it happened before the age of seven. So our beliefs about ourself in the world, Are already set up before we have a filter, before we have the ability to discern that what might be happening might not be our fault.
And and that's what I love to be able to share with people is, is that, so if your life isn't going quite the way you wanted or if it's not going at the speed that you wanted it in the direction you wanted, I can almost guarantee you that it's not your fault. That it's really those limiting subconscious beliefs that you might not have any awareness that are.
And they're running the show because in that tiny green ball is our conscious wants and desires. So we all want health. We all want love and joy. We all want wealth. You know, we all [00:05:00] want to, grow and, and well, most of us wanna grow and get better. That's a natural, natural state. I liken it to nature and.
Trees want to, you know, be their absolute most potential. And that's really natural for humans as well. But what's in the way is, is those limiting subconscious beliefs. So, of course, consciously we want all these wonderful things, but subconsciously that's not, might not be what's there. That might not be what the programming is.
So the, the EFT tapping it. Tell me how that, I mean, I know, and I've worked with you and I love tapping, but for our, for our listeners, you know, some people have no idea what it, and some people have done it a lot and there's, there's different types of tapping, just like there's different types of massage.
Yes. And so there's, I think it's fascinating how it can help us and. I would encourage people to try it. So I'm, Tell me more about, so what is, what is freedom in that word? [00:06:00] An eft? Yeah. What does that stand for? Yeah. Well that's, it's, that's beautiful actually. And so the and I think people actually, and thank you for asking that question because I think people actually get it, what I think wrong.
So, because when people hear emotional freedom technique, they think that it's freedom from emotion. And it's not actually that at all because we're supposed to have emotions. In fact, we're supposed to have experience, the whole gamut of emotions. But we're not supposed to live in what I consider sort of the bottom half emotions, which are all the negative ones.
We're not supposed to live there. We're just supposed to experience those, get the information. And then be able to move back into, you know, the positive, expansive part of our life. And so when I think of freedom in the emotional freedom technique, what I see it as is actually freedom from being stuck in old patterns, stuck in, stuck in emotions, and continuing recycling them and not being able to get the information and move out of them.[00:07:00]
I. So my ex experience of this is like, let's say, a conversation with my husband, for example. Mm-hmm. , you know, and then, so we're in I 22 years, I think 22 or 23 of marriage. Right? I double the, and you know, like all married couples or people that have been around each other for many, many years.
There's ways that we communicate exactly the same as we did the day we met and, or that we created these little, you know, I competitions maybe, you know, the way we learn how to communicate and, well, I'm that no like that. And it's, it's as if we're, you know, 10. And, and so having done tapping through some of those conversations, I have been able to.
Change the way I'm responding. And I think that that is very important right now, not just right now, but just in general and human [00:08:00] existence that we don't even know. That we don't even know, and we don't know that we're, we are responding that way. And when other people hear it, they're like, Oh, mm-hmm. . But it's, and they see it right through it, but it's hard to change it.
In the moment, until you can be more self-aware. And there's a lot of ways to be self-aware. So like my whole, what my soapbox is that our body holds our emotions. And so you're doing this too, like in a, in a different way. And I, I love how they work together, so, And so how deep does this work? Yeah.
So, yeah. And I love how Synergistics our work is, right? And the same, same kind of principles, right? That they, you know, these emotions are stuck. That's where, that's where I feel like the freedom is, right? And, , and this is where, for me, like how I, And you mentioned earlier that there's a lot of different ways to do [00:09:00] ft.
Just like there's a lot of different ways to do massage, right? And so just like with massage, you can get a really relaxing massage. You know, that's where, you know, where you can hardly feel the touch or what, whatever. Right. Or you can get really deep massage where you really get, you know, right down into the issue.
Right. Well that's the same as with the FT tapping. You can do the same thing. You can do very surface level. And you can go super deep. And my thing is going super deep. So the analogy I like to use is like a weed in the garden. So you can, you know, you can kind of hack that weed off at the top, you know, And it might slow down the growth a little bit, but it's gonna come back.
But if you go in there and take that weed out by the root, it's gone. And that's how I feel about what the FT tapping is, is that my intention is whatever the issue is, whatever the problem is that you're currently experiencing and following the, the trail, the breadcrumbs, all the way back to the earliest experience that you had that's related to that.
And the difficulty is, is that, you [00:10:00] know, the giant green ball, the subconscious is actually iLogic. So when we try to consciously solve an illogical problem, then we consciously, logically try to solve an illogical subconscious problem. It's extremely difficult, especially because our subconscious job is to keep us alive in breathing.
And it can't tell the difference between a real threat or a perceived threat. So as soon as we start to talk about our problems or talk about the difficulties or challenges or, you know, if we go right into the, you know, traumatic experiences, our stress response is automatically triggered. So immediately what happens is basically the blood flow from our higher conscious prefrontal lobe starts to drain into our primal brain to get us ready to fight, flight, or freeze.
Those are our options. And so like in your conversation that you're talking with your hobby, so immediately there is a stress response that comes on for both of you. If neither one of you are able to recognize that [00:11:00] and interrupt it, you're going to be in fight, you know? So you're gonna be into the. You know, or one of you is going to walk away, or both of you walk away, or both of you are just frozen in this same dialogue over and over and over again because there's nothing possible.
Your subconscious is going, Holy crap. Now all of a sudden there's a, the, there's a whole bunch of tigers in the room with us. And it can't tell the difference that there actually isn't. And so the beautiful part about tapping is, is that, is that because you're, you're stimulating pressure points or high concentrations of nerve endings on the upper body hands.
And so literally by tapping on them, it sends a soothing signal through the nervous system to the amygdala, which lets the subconscious know basically that there isn't a. It soothes it and it interrupts it. So now like you're having that conversation with your hubby, you start tapping and you inter and you interrupt the stress response.
Now all now that blood starts coming outta the primal brain and [00:12:00] back into the higher brain centers, and you're like, Oh my God, we're, we're stuck in this, You know, we're stuck in this repetitive conversation or repetitive argument, and you can stop and begin to respond differently instead of reacting as you would've been before.
And what's possible when, one, especially if both of you, it's absolutely phenomenal. But e you only takes one of you. To step out of that stress response and be able to get into that higher brain place where you can start to see things from different perspectives when you can start to problem solve and, and start to understand and recognize that this is how, what, what's going on is not gonna solve the problem.
Right. That circular motion. Exactly. Circular motion. And I see that in in the body as well. It's interesting how, not just our mind, I mean not just our, our thoughts and our com communication with people. Yeah. But how our body. How the muscles respond to it. And it's really, [00:13:00] it's really interesting. So how do, how do we, and you're saying like, correct me if I'm wrong, but you're in this conversation with, I'm in this conversation with my husband, let's say mm-hmm.
and you're saying I should tap then. Yeah, that's the ideal is, is that, and, you know, and, and so on my, on my website, there's a downloadable tapping, diagram that shows all the tapping points. And there's one, tap, There's acture points on your fingers. And so it makes it really easy to be able to tap and not have it like super distracting and going through all of the upper body points.
But you can actually start, Yeah, I mean, you totally can, you can totally start tapping on any of those points. You don't call her bone or head or whatever, but it's less distracting. To be able to just start tapping on your fingers, because that sends the same soothing signal through the system to get that blood flow back into your higher brain centers.
Right? And that's the ideal, you know, and for, you know, kids in school and, just, well, any application really, wherever the stress response comes on and people don't [00:14:00] recognize that, you know, as soon as you start having negative thoughts. You're going into stress response because again, the subconscious can't tell the difference between a real or a perceived threat.
And so, you know, the full on stress response is, you know, is the shallow breathing and the stomach churning, you know, and you know, the pupil start to dilate and the blood starts to move away from, you know, the non-essential functions and gets you ready to, to fight, flight, or freeze. Right? And. But it's also in those subtle ways.
As soon as the negative thoughts start, then it's like you're already moving into that stress response. That blood flow is already starting to drain into the primal brain. Which spot, in your opinion, is the most effective? Well, I think, for me personally, I find the side of the hand so that karate chop place, and, and this is where there isn't scientific data to back this up.
And I love scientific data. I love marrying, you know, eastern and western worlds. That said, it's like the, the theory is, is that when you're, tapping [00:15:00] on the side of the hand, excuse me, either. Is that it's actually, reversing the polarity. So what hap So the theory is, is that energy is actually going in a backwards manner.
When you're in stress response. And so when you tap on the side of the hand, it puts it back into the opposite. But like I said, there's no scientific, data to pack that up. But I find that one to be the most, relieving, I guess. But that's sad. Is, is it sometimes people will feel really drawn to a certain area, you know, so like collarbone or side of the hand or, you know, or wrists.
It's like, Like you think about people when they're really tired or frustrated, they'll put their hands to the side of their, where their temples are and they'll start to rub. Well, that's a, that's a tapping point. And so what I love to say with people is, is that you can't really get it wrong except if you don't do it.
So just get on a point, whatever feels the most comfortable and start tapping there. And the, and the thing that I love about the side of the hand as well is that it's like if you're driving , you know, and you happen to be in the car by yourself, [00:16:00] it's the perfect opportunity. You have one hand on the wheel and the other hand is actually banging the side of the hand on the steering wheel and you can just let it rip, you know?
And the cool part is, is that now most everybody has Bluetooth, so they just think you're having a very heated conversation, . You know, versus when I first started this, that wasn't a thing. And so, you know, people were like, Oh, okay, . So do you know the, like the the talk that you take your clients through as they're tapping?
Yeah. Do they need to, do I need to do that while I'm tapping or just, just tap? Am I saying something to myself or should I just tap? So, so probably the, the thing that I hear that's most difficult for people is finding the. To tap, to tap with. And so what I say to people is, is that, first off, get tapping.
That's the most, that's the most important piece. The next piece is basically just acknowledging what's going on because we're so brought up to be, so programmed to [00:17:00] be positive that we can't, that we can't. We can't say that. It's like, you know, I'm having a lousy day, or I'm really angry at so and so, or, you know, or This feels really bad.
We're, we're taught right away. To just push that down and move to positive and the most important piece is to acknowledge what is, and when I say to people is literally, it would be like being on the phone with your absolute best friend, whoever that might be imaginary if you need to, that you could say absolutely anything to, and there would be no judgment.
So you're basically just tapping and talking. So it's like pretending you're on the phone and you're just like going at it as to whatever's coming up, and that's, that's the easiest thing to do to get out of it right away. Now, the next, like, you know, all the points that I have on my, on the diagram, they're all connected to specific, areas of the body.
They've actually, there was two French scientists that actually wanted to prove whether or not these acupressure [00:18:00] points existed along with the. Chinese energy meridians because they wanted to prove that they're a thing and they injected nuclear isotopes into the ACU pressure points, and they followed those patterns precisely as they were, diagramed by the Chinese thousands of years ago.
So, you know, we use the entire, the entirety of those ACU pressure points in order to get a full experience, and that's where you wanna be, have, take a little bit more time where you're somewhere where you've got, you know, 10, 15 minutes to be able to get through everything. And be able to, neutralize what's going on, but in the moment.
The easiest thing to do is tap and acknowledge what's going on, because as soon as you acknowledge it, I liken it too as like if you have, excuse me, If you have a, a dog or a, a pet that needs your attention, or if you have a two year old and they're at your leg, you know, and they're kind of pulling on your leg going, You know, I need you.
I need you, and you keep saying, Not now. Not now. And they just get louder and more obnoxious until you actually pay attention to them. And as soon as you do, then the off they [00:19:00] go. Well, it's the same thing with tapping. As soon as you acknowledge what's going on, it starts to dissipate and you're not reinforcing it because you're tapping that stress response is off.
So you are not reinforcing that old neuro pathway. You're actually allowing your body to actually process these emotions. So it doesn't matter what you're going through, you can tap without saying anything and it will calm your body down. Yes. Actually they've done, this spring, they actually, did a study in Germany where they had the FM r brain scans.
And they wanted to know if you just imagined tapping, so you actually weren't physically tapping on your points whether or not it would stimulate the brain in the same way that that, actually tapping on the points were, and it. That is so cool. I, I, I want to do some, some research with the brain and touch.
I mean, it's just, we have, it's like, it's like what we've, we've seen like 5% of the ocean and I think we've seen like 1% of the body. Like we're so, we're such kindergarters, you know? And, we, we sure [00:20:00] have learned a lot. I mean, it's amazing that there's so much more about how things are connected. You know, I work on.
There's a couple meridians and areas that I work on the body, like for example, for grief, and it's right under the clavicle. Mm-hmm. . So tell me what EFT and the clavicle and grief, might offer to somebody again. You know, I'm looking forward to the day when we can get the scientific data to back all of this up, and so there is some theory that certain.
You know, and like you've experienced over, you know, 20 years or more of doing art, of doing massage therapy. Right. Is is that you've, you've noticed that that has, you know, that's a real good grief release is that point. Right? But there, so there's a lot of anecdotal, You know, data to back it up, but there's no scientific data.
And so, so I, I, I try not to actually tell people that. It's like, here's what they think each point is, because then people get even more concerned about doing it perfectly. That it's like, Oh, well if I'm, [00:21:00] if I'm angry, I have to do, you know, under the eye, or if I'm upset, I have to do the clavicle and it, all of it, it just impairs the point, which is, Tapping and talking and venting about what's going on because people get so we all get so hung up on doing things perfectly.
And really what's happening is our subconscious, like I said, it's it's job, is to keep us alive and breathing. How it does that is keep everything the same and familiar. And so when we're really familiar, like for me prior to tapping, I was super familiar with anger and resentment. I'm getting less and less familiar with them.
I'm very grateful for that . But, as I was going through this process, the every part of me, it felt like every cell of my body wanted to go back to anger. And yet there is this conscious part of me, like I don't wanna be this angry person. I know the detriment that it's having on my body. And yet there was just like a magnetic pole to go back to the.
And it's just that there was such a familiarity with it on a cellular level that [00:22:00] until I got more familiar with not being angry, it was the subconscious wanted to keep me in that. And so that's why I try to keep tapping as simple as possible because you're already coming up against your subconscious.
It's like whatever's going on. Like I said, it. It has a, a breadcrumb trail back to something that happened really early on, and you're likely very familiar with it. And so there's already resistance to doing the tapping, so to try to keep it as simple as possible. I don't, I don't go through that. And like I said, there's also not scientific data for it, so.
Right. You know, I, I think there's, it's interesting how there's not, scientific data for certain things, but we all know it's true. Yeah. And it's, unfortunate that it takes that to convince certain people, even though they may have experienced it in their own body. Yeah. But, and that's unfortunate, but it, it is what it is.
If someone is gonna tap, so first. They don't have to talk about it. Yep. [00:23:00] No, they just tap, just get on the point. And it's like the easiest one, like I said, is usually the side of the hand. So, Okay. But if you, you know, if you go to the collarbone, it's like, or you know, if you wanna rub the side of your eye, it, it just doesn't matter.
You just wanna get tapping. Okay. And when, can it help them, can it help people sleep? Yes. Absolutely. Cuz you wanna, because what's, especially when we're, when we are really accustomed to be under, under. Is, as you think of it from that subconscious perspective, that as far as it's concerned, whatever's causing that stress is the equivalent of a tiger on their butt.
And so you go to lay down and, Okay, well let's, let's rest and go to sleep. Now. Well, your subconscious is going Uhuh, there's a tiger here. We are not going to sleep, we're not turning off. And so, The tapping, what it can do is interrupt that. And so the, like I said, the cool part is, is that it's like if you happen to sleep with a partner so that you don't have to have shake the bed, you can literally just [00:24:00] picture like the finger points work really well for this as well.
But you can also just imagine tapping on the points. You know, you're, earlier you were talking about anger and resentment and how you're used to that, and I, you know, we hear that a lot in our, in our, in coaching and in, in both of our businesses, and I was just, I heard something yesterday about being available for love, being available for joy, and that most of us are available for anger and resentment and different, you know, and, so speak to that a little bit.
How do you, how do you hear. . Yeah. Well, again, I'm, I'm looking at it through the, through the lens of always the subconscious about whatever, whatever emotion that you're really familiar with is going to be the comfortable one, even if it sucks. So, and, and that's the part that's really confusing for people because it, you would think.
That being a avail, being in loving, happy, joyful state would be like, Well, of course that's easy, right? Like, no, if you're not familiar with it, it's gonna be really super hard. Initially. It's kind of like, the analogy I [00:25:00] love to use is like when, when they're trying to get a rocket out of the atmosphere.
They use something like 90% of the fuel to get outta the atmosphere, and then once they're through the atmosphere, they cruise around on just about fumes. Well, that's, that's how I liken this shift, that when you can get at those limiting subconscious beliefs, the and the familiarity like for me with anger and resentment, and that you get past that tipping point or get out of the atmosphere, then it becomes easier.
To be more available for love and for joy and for happiness. And it, and it gets, easier to draw more beautiful things to yourself. Cuz one of the, you know, one of the things that I, before tapping, cuz I, like I said, I tried all the, all the things is, is that I went down the whole law of attraction hole as far as you could possibly go.
And because I have a little bit of an A type along with my creativity side, my A type was like, I'm gonna do this exactly right so that I can, you know, so that I can solve my, you know, at that time it was health and finance issues and, and so I followed everything to a t. Like you [00:26:00] could not get it more perfect if you tried.
And, and what happened was, is that, so things would manifest, you know, would show. Like in the, in what felt like a heartbeat and other things that I had been trying to solve for freaking ever were not getting solved. And so then what it led me to believe was that there was something wrong with me. That I was somehow innately flawed, that it worked for everyone else but not me.
But what I now understand after. Putting all the pieces together of why EFT tapping works So, incredibly powerfully and fast is because those subconscious beliefs, again, there's not scientific evidence. This is my theory, is that those subconscious beliefs have. An energy vibration because everything is energy and everything has the frequency and vibration.
So if you have, you know, for instance for me, I had a vi a really strong belief that money wasn't okay for multiple reasons. And and we have this other part of our brain called particular activating system, which is our filter. So it [00:27:00] basically, because our conscious mind could not handle all the information that's coming in, our subconscious mind filters it for us through this particular activating system.
And my theory is, is that it filters based on those beliefs. So your subconscious, So I have a subconscious belief, money's not. Okay. So what. Happens then is I see in the world all kinds of evidence that money's not okay because that's what's being allowed through the particular activating system, that that's what matches up energetically.
So even though I'm doing this law of attraction stuff, I'm doing all the affirmations, doing all the things, I haven't changed the subconscious limiting belief. So it is impossible for me to change that vibrationally. Interesting. Yes. I see the same thing in, in, Like in the body. And so to be available, to be available for love, to be available.
Let's, How about like an example of a question that someone does over and over that doesn't allow them to be [00:28:00] available for success, available for whatever? Yeah, so like an example. I mean, there's, you know, a gazillion, truly, so, yeah. How about, here's a real simple one is, I don't know. So, so they're saying that to themselves.
So walk me through that. Yep, for sure. So, I just wanna back up just one little bit. So, because, so the, there are two ways to change the subconscious, limiting beliefs as follows far as I'm concerned. One is, is through accessing it through some modality. That, that turns off that stress response. So tapping is the thing for me.
The other one is through absolute and complete bombardment of repetition because that's how the subconscious learns. So if you think about driving a car, when you first learned you, you know, initially you're thinking, Oh my God, I'm gonna kill somebody. Cuz you can't take both hands off the wheel. You won't even take a sip of water cause you're like, Oh my God, this is so stressful, , there's so many things to think about.
Right? And then as it. A habit, you know, as with that repetition. Now you can, you know, have a coffee, you can have [00:29:00] a conversation. Don't even remember getting to your destination. That's the subconscious learning through repetition. So that set could, because. So let's say with the law of attraction thing, because they're going through the affirmations and all that stuff, right?
If I had been, maybe in theory, if I'd been able to bombard myself enough, I may have been able to shift that, but because of, of I think the depth of my money, beliefs, it wasn't possible for me. So, so getting back to your question about, somebody saying, I don't. Well, if you're really, if you're, again, coming back to that subconscious, excuse me, if you're familiar, if you're familiar with, saying, I don't know.
If your, if your default is, is always the shoulder shrug and looking to somebody else for the, for the answer, that's your subconscious is familiar with that. So to change that is, is, again, it get, you have so much resistance to it. So if you say to people, somebody says, I don't know, and you say, Yeah, you do.[00:30:00]
And they'll be like, No, I don't. And yeah, you. And it's like, and if you can, you know, get them into their body and get that stress response off, that information is there, it is available to them, but it's blocked because of that stress response and because of that familiarity with being in the, I don't know, state, did that answer the question?
Oh, yeah. Yeah, I think so. I'm just, I'm fascinated with the how, How the body deals with things the same and like how tapping and what I do with emotional release type of massage and coaching, how it's so similar. Like we, there's so much that we're. I, I think not wanting to be aware of and if, if we, and, but we've been taught so much through the years in our lifetime to ignore it, that it just gets hidden in these different places in the body and it's so unique to each person.
And so it's also frustrating, like you did, you said the rabbit hole of, you know, law of [00:31:00] attraction and doing that and, and trying and trying and trying and it doesn't work for you. And then mo a lot of people. I wouldn't say most, but a lot of people then just give up. Like, like you said, it's me. I am bad.
I can never figure this out because they've done one or maybe two holes of rabbit holes that trying to do things. . Yeah, and I, It's interesting because I think. You have to find your tribe. You have to find your path. And there's, there's different paths for everybody. And, I honor every path because I have seen as you have just some interesting.
Things that work for people that don't work for me. And that's fine. And at, at the beginning I'm like, Why would you, Ooh, that's, that's weird. But then it really helps somebody. And I just wanna honor that for each person that we just don't know. And you just have to keep trying, have faith to, that something to help you get over whatever is [00:32:00] bothering you exists.
Yeah. And I would, I would, you know, absolutely a hundred percent Ruth, this is like, I mean, tapping is the thing that liberated me and, and I, the, the theory of the subconscious beliefs feels, feels pretty universal truth for me. You know, but I don't, you know, I don't know for a hundred percent that's just, this is what my experience has been and, you know, and with thousands of working with thousands of people, right?
Is I feel like the important piece is to get the, is to first recognize that you're in the stress response, you know? And then the second piece is to find a way out of that. And it's like, that could be tapping, that could be massage, that could be meditation, it could be walking, it could be whatever.
But you have to head, heart, and gut, not be in stress response. You have to be in relaxation because then, Everything becomes possible, then that's when the subconscious goes on side to now go, This is the information you need. This is, this is the next place. This is the next person you need to meet. [00:33:00] This is the next thing you need to do.
But so long as that stress response is on, there's almost nothing possible there. So whatever way. You know that you're getting results with getting that re relaxation response on where you can feel in the zone and feel quiet and peaceful. And it's not just your head, it's your heart and gut too. The whole body, the whole mind and body connection.
Then it's like that's, you know, keep going there, Keep going that direction. You're headed in the right way. Yeah, like I, you just said, like to notice. Notice when you find peace in a moment, and I think what what keeps people from moving forward or keeps them stuck is that they have. Turned that ability off so much like we've just talked about, but they've turned it off so much that it's, it doesn't seem possible.
And I think that lack of possibility is what keeps them stuck. Like, I can never figure this out and I just encourage people to keep [00:34:00] trying and, But I, I just think it's so fascinating what we don't know. Yeah. And it is really cool what we do know, . Yeah, exactly. You know, and that's, and that's the thing, you know, And just to kind of tie it back to the whole, like we started with, with being in your own way right?
Is, is, is finding a way to just have a tiny space of self-compassion, you know, that it's like to recognize that just getting a bigger. And beating yourself with a bigger bat is not going to, it's not going to, because you're causing more of a stress response. And so, and that to me is like, that's, that's where the possibility becomes, It becomes when we be, we can have compassion for others very often, but not for ourselves.
And when we can make that little sliver of space for self-compassion, and that's where, to me, that's where I love saying to people, you know, it's sort of like, what, what's, yes, you're in your own way, but you're guilty and. Yeah, you're guilty [00:35:00] of being in your own way and you're innocent because, Did you do it on purpose?
I don't think so. . And so that's where that compassion and forgiveness comes, where it's like, Okay, so maybe, maybe I can put the bat down and, and just start to be curious as to, you know, well, maybe there might be a solution. You know, maybe there's something I haven't tried. Maybe there's something that, that, that could work.
And, and. Not making ourselves wrong and bad, just like, Well, this isn't working, so I'm gonna try something different. You know, even in that it's just, there's opportunity in it. But so long as we're in the, I don't know, and I'm, you know, I'm, I, I'm always in my own way and I'm, you know, always doing this to myself and always, always, you know, I never take out, always, never , you know, to start with and just be like, I'm really doing the best that I can and I do wanna do better.
So how could that happen? Do you think any one culture in the world is better than that, than another [00:36:00] At, at the self-compassion? Yeah. Cause there's so many cultures that are so negative towards themselves and America is right up there. Oh yeah. But there's, there's some that are worse and there's some that are better.
Have you recognized or worked with. Some that deal with it differently? Well, generally, I mean that generally the people that are coming to me are in their own way. So that's, that's a, So I have a skewed, skewed view. Me too. Skewed view of, of that. So I don't know that that would be a good person to answer that.
I know, I do know for certain that North America, so I'm in Canada, you're in the States. We're really good at picking up a bat and finding bigger. You know, , I, Yeah, exactly. Yeah. Thinking that it's like just a bigger bad, If I just a little harder on myself, then we'll sort, sort our out and it's like, no, it doesn't work like that.
It's quite, you know, it might actually, it might work for a little while, but it comes at a massive cost and it, I, you either pay now or you pay later. And, and it just doesn't work long term. It's not sustainable for sure. Yeah. And so, you know, I don't, I couldn't, I don't [00:37:00] know, Ruth, I've worked with, I've worked with people, in a lot of countries around the world.
I would say, Europe would fall close second to North America in the beating up, you know, in the, Eastern countries. I'd say it's maybe even worse than North America cuz it's so harsh. You know, in terms of like not harsh, like people are meaning to be harsh. Just that it's like their environment is really harsh, that it's like, it's been very survival based, you know?
And you know, cuz I actually, I worked for someone, in the Ukraine, and she just got out, out just before the war started. And, You know, it's just, there's so much, it's just been a hard life, you know, And so it's much more difficult to get into that spacious abundance possibility place when, when you've been.
Living in, in survival mode for a long time. You know, in terms of, other parts of the country, other parts of the world. I haven't, I haven't had enough, to, to, to speak to it, but, but I know for sure North America is good at doing that. Good at [00:38:00] getting the bad. I was just wondering because I, you know, listening to my kids talk and they're on TikTok or on Snapchat or whatever, they're on Instagram and how they all beat each other up, you know, they beat each other, they beat themselves, and it's like, if they don't say something negative towards themselves, then it means certain things in our culture.
Like you're either being, you know, Proud or you're being stuck up or there's all these bad ways. And so our society is actually teaching us to be, you know, not very healthy. And I would love, that's what definitely when I'm on the, on, hope to start doing is to change that, that, self. Infliction of negativity and how it should just be, you know, like it's like this cloud around us at all times.
Yeah, and I would, and I would say here, here's the other thing about the reason again, to have self-compassion around that is, is that our subconscious, [00:39:00] again, is designed to keep us alive and breathing. And so it has a negativity bias. It's it's millennial old, It's certainly, it's a computer that's out of date that needs updating, you know, For sure.
Which is like on like your mission and my mission, right? But to recognize that that negativity bias, So it's like if nine people give you a compliment in one person, you know, says something negative towards you, what are you gonna remember? You're gonna remember the negative comment, right? And so, Exactly.
And so, so first part is having that awareness. That were already, you know, prewired for a, a tendency, a propensity for that. And so, and it, and it, you know, it, and it worked for a long time. Like if you think of it through the lens of, you know, if you and I were, you know, living in a hut together, you know, thousands of years ago, and I was like, you know, Pollyanna and there's no tigers out there, and you're like, Oh, Sherry, there's tigers out there, you know, and we walk out of the.
And you're like, so you would be considered a quote unquote, really negative that it's like, [00:40:00] you have to look out for all the tiger sherry. And I'd be like, Oh, you're being, you know Debbie downer. And I'm like, No, it's all good kind of thing. Right? And we come out of the outta that. Who do you think's gonna get eaten?
It's like, it isn't gonna be you because you're already have recognize, you saw the rusting in the trees and you were booking it for somewhere else. And I would've been like, Oh, it's a birdie in the trees. And it's like, Yeah. Gone. Kind of thing, right? And so when you look at it through that lens and recognize that there is just this superpower, pre predisposition for that, the first piece is, is knowing that and kind of go, Okay, so I'm already going to look for everything that I've done wrong.
So how about I take the wheel of this bus and decide to look for everything That's right. And that's where the conscious, intention comes. To make that change. And that takes mindfulness, That takes, and it does take some effort. And because the subconscious learns through repetition, it takes relentless repetition.[00:41:00]
And that's the part to me that it's like, You know, my, my thing is getting to that limiting belief, you know, then changing it, having that awareness that it's like, yep, that was the belief that doesn't work for me anymore. And then reinforcing it. And you know, to me the fastest way through all of that is tapping, just because you're, I know your stress response is off when you're tapping and you know when you're doing other things that may or may not be.
And that's, to me is, that's kind of. The guarantee that you get that it's that, it's like, I know I'm in, I know I'm in relaxation. Even if it does, and the, and the people are like, Yeah, but I'm, you know, I'll be working. They might be crying and they're like, How am I in relaxation and crying? And it's like, your body is not interpreting a threat and these emotions are not a threat.
And that's why you're allowing them and being able to release them and you know, and like you, you had mentioned about that, you know, as a society and culture that we've really. Suppressed and taught everyone to not feel and not have their emotions. And so, and I, and I would say that's, you know, multiplied by 10 [00:42:00] for men, Like, I just feel like, you know, I'm, you know, you and I are both like, go women, you know, and, and let's get equal in the world kind of thing.
Right. And I, I'm a hundred percent on that. And I also want to acknowledge. The massive disservice that we have done with men to basically say, No, guess what? You're not actually human. You don't get to have any emotions. And it's like, it's so wrong. And it's like, and it's a big reason why we have so many problems because it's like you push those, those emotions down long enough and pretty soon it's gonna be a volcano.
And it might come up as anger. It might come up as health. It might come up as, you know, depression and sadness. It's like, but it's not gonna, And so for men, I feel like it's like, it's even more powerful work because it. It's easier for them to override, override that subconscious, programming to, to not allow it.
So once that stress response is off, then they're actually allow their emotions. And, you know, and for the, I work mostly with women, but [00:43:00] I work some with men. And the men that I have worked with, the first thing I say to them is this, that they've been given a disservice that it's wrong. That they're supposed to have emotions and they bloody well, they're supposed to cry.
It's like that's part of the cleansing experience and, and how much courage it takes to allow those emotions to be, to be a healthier version. And demonstration for other men because it's like there's so much relief that comes, like, women, yeah, we've done the same thing, but you know, we've been allowed to have motions and men, if not yes.
This has been awesome, Sherry, again, , we have to have another session, but you know, one of the things I'm coming away with, and I'm going to write this down in front of me and I want, this is what I'm, you know, I know you are about this too. I want to. Create positive disposition. Positive disposition in myself [00:44:00] and then in everybody around me.
And especially if my someone around me is not feeling well or dealing with something, you know, some type of illness or depression. Positive disposition, creating that every morning, creating that before you go to bed. And we, we know there's so many lists of things you can do. So here's just another one for everybody is tapping.
But you can do all so many things. Like, you can have a gratitude journal, you can do prayer, meditation, and, but I would encourage anybody. Curious about tapping to give Sherry a call. She's been very helpful for me and I just want to say that she can help you. So give it a, give it a try. So tell me about the, our free before our listeners.
Yeah, for sure. I just wanna, I just wanna comment, and that's a beautiful statement about having that positive dis position. And I think I would only just add one thing. Yes, that's, that it's authentic and that [00:45:00] it's like you're actually, you actually feel that positive disposition because then it's like the pos, what's possible is incredible, right?
And that when I say authentic, it's head, heart, and gut. That you're not just telling yourself that I should think positively. You actually feel positive, right? And so when you go into doing. Gratitude journal or the meditation or whatever process feels good to you, that you're actually in the feeling of it.
Because the language of the subconscious is emotions. It's feelings. So if I'm, you know, if I'm writing my affirmations and I'm like, you know, you know, I'm happy and peaceful and you're not and you're putting your pen through the paper . Exactly. Right. It's not gonna be fitting. Exactly. Not gonna. Super effective, right?
Yeah. So get into the point, get into the feeling first is the thing, right? And so, yeah. And so, so the freebie, freebie is, so it's on my website, it comes up as a little popup. You can also just, sign up for it and it's, three things. So you, you get a, downloadable tapping audio. That you can use anywhere, anytime.
The tapping [00:46:00] diagram and then there's also an audio, just explaining a little bit more about tapping and also about, how I came to it. And, cuz that's something I get asked all the time is, you know, well, how, what's the story of that? And so I put that into, into a little, voice. Audio so that people can hear that.
And it's like, and what I love so much about it is, is that you can go from being, you know, spitting, putting the pen through the paper. Too peaceful and calm within minutes, sometimes within seconds. It's that fast. It's just, you know, the, one of the, the biggest things about it is people are like, it's too simple.
It can't be this simple. And it is, It's just so powerful, you know? And just as you've experienced, as soon as you involve that body, man, stuff can shift fast. And you know, and that's the cool part about having this, is that it's like you're able to go from that, You. 90 to just five of just being able to breathe and being able to think and being able to respond instead of.[00:47:00]
Yes. You know, another thing about this setup that's just coming up is that you empower people to do this on their own for the rest of their lives. So it's not like you, they go to you for your program and then they have to keep coming to you. Same thing with me. The whole point of our programs right now is to get it out to so many more people than we can do one on one, because.
You can then take it and run and you can help other people. You can then help other people do it. And I, I love that about your program and about tapping. So, yeah. Any, any last word, Sherry today? I know it's like, I feel like we just started two minutes ago and it's already an hour. Right? It's like, I, it always blows my mind.
And, and at the same time I'm like, I just, we both love this so much. Right? And it's like, and it. Transform both of our lives so much. And it's like, and there is nothing that is more delightful than having people transform their lives. Right. And, and helping, helping them do that. Right. And, yeah. But yeah, it's sort of like this is what [00:48:00] happens when we're doing our work, right?
It's like there we're done and it's like, oh, 60 minutes went by. Yeah, no, I think probably the last thing is just kind of the first thing that I said, which is that, yeah, you're probably in your own way and you know, Be self compassionate, get curious and recognize that it's, it's not your fault, that it really is.
There's something that you learned, you know, that's probably illogical, that is just repeating itself. That just needs to change, and it is, It's possible to find it and reprogram it, and then reinforce what actually works for you. Find it. Yeah, so it's my R three, right? The first R is recognizing, So recognizing when you're in that stress response, recognizing that something's not working in your life or it's not moving in the direction at the speed you want.
The second one is reprogramming it, you know? And of course I'm referring to tapping, but it doesn't have to be. It has to. Something has, It has to be involving the subconscious though, involving the. Right. So you're [00:49:00] reprogramming it at that level, at a body subconscious level. And then the third R is reinforce.
So remember I said that rep, the subconscious learns through repetition. So, you're reinforcing that new supportive belief about yourself in the world. And that needs to be repeat, repeat, repeat, so that you can get it so that the subconscious is now, that's the familiar belief, not the old one. I love this.
Sherry, thank you so much again, . I love our conversations and I have, I have a lot more, but I'm not gonna bring that up right now. So can would it be okay if we do this again? Oh, we can, okay. We can just wanna get your on take. Yeah. Unlimited, unlimited times truth. It is my absolute pleasure and honor and I just am so grateful for you and your podcast in doing this, and, For the opportunity to, to share and, and make a difference with people cuz the contribution is my top value and, you've given me that opportunity.
So thank you and I just so appreciate [00:50:00] you in everything you do. Thank you so much, Sherry. All right. I'm signing off and we will see you next time. Absolutely. Thank you.
Thanks for joining our podcast today with an interview with Sherry Lukey, an EFT tapping expert. She's amazing and I would highly recommend trying her, all of her information to get ahold of. Is in the show notes, but also you could get ahold of [email protected] So Sherry is s h e r r y. L U K E y.com.
She's got a really nice website and a lot of ways to get ahold of her, so give her a try, and I will see you next week. Thanks. Bye-bye. Thank you for listening to Your Body Advocate with Ruth Cummings. We're so glad you've joined us today, and truly believe you can live a pain free, passion filled life. To connect with Ruth, work with [00:51:00] Ruth, or to grab your free ebook, go to ruth cummings.com.
We'd love to hear from. Don't forget to rate, review, and subscribe so you don't miss our next episode. Until next time, friends, be open. Include the un included, think outside the box, and spread love and kindness. One smile at a time.